On the Good Foot: Hidden (2015)

Hidden doesn’t hold a candle to Stranger Things, but it is an entertaining movie.

Two weeks ago I watched Stranger Things. I was hooked right from the X-Filesesque opening scene. By the end of the first episode I was in love. I am a glutton have problems with my addictive behaviors. So, as a junkie eight episodes just wasn’t enough. I had to find everything the Duffer Brothers ever made. My cursory Google search uncovered Hidden and Wayward Pines. Only two! Feh! Oh well, better than nothing I supposed. Continue reading “On the Good Foot: Hidden (2015)”

Memories: The NeverEnding Story

The NeverEnding Story was still magical after all these years, despite being for young adults and suffering some ravages of time.

As a child I loved The NeverEnding Story. Yet, while I waited for the anniversary screening my powers of recall betrayed those memories. Namely, the specifics of the plot were vague. The more I tried to remember the more I was surprised to find that there was precious little about the story, aside from Falkor, Rockbiter, and the horse sinking in the muck, that I recalled. Continue reading “Memories: The NeverEnding Story”

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn

In 1979 George Miller changed the dystopian future. Before Mad Max, dystopian movies were overly cerebral sci fi with nihilistic endings—stories that made you want to shoot yourself. Suicide was not to avoid a dismal fate, but to avoid suffering another God awful movie. Now almost all dystopia are set in a desert that’s inhabited by filthy, blood-thirsty circus freaks driving metal monstrosities.

One of the many Mad Maxploitation films is Charles Band’s Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn. I happened upon it in a carwash dollar bin. Though it was priced twice what it’s worth, I needed something for this month’s walk-thru. So, fasten your safety belts and keep a sharp lookout for roaming bands of ravagers, we’re going back to the dark times, 1983.

You can read the rest of my, ehrm… I mean, the Doktor’s, walk-thru over at The Lost Highway.

Did I Stroke Out: Jason Borne (2016)

Where’d I… What just… I think I watched Jason Borne but maybe I had a stroke.

It has taken me almost a month to wrap my head around Jason Borne. No, it’s not a complicated movie. Actually it’s straight forward. My problem processing it is due to the pacing. Jason Borne is so break neck I never had a chance to get a grip. It threw my head back in my seat like a supercharged Hemi jumping off the line and never gave up. When the end credits rolled all I was left with was a blur.

This is what I remember (keep in mind my blood was pooled at the back of my head so I might not have all the details just right): Continue reading “Did I Stroke Out: Jason Borne (2016)”

This Usually Doesn’t Happen: Sausage Party (2016)

Farts are funny, but Sausage Party was more of a shart when first meeting the in-laws than a “pull my finger” joke.

Farts are funny. I laugh at dick jokes and enjoy politically incorrect cartoons.

In the immortal words of Popeye, “I yam what I yam and dats all what I yam!” Continue reading “This Usually Doesn’t Happen: Sausage Party (2016)”