Journaling June: Is This It Then?

(at last we have control of the keyboard . . . are you receiving us?)

What the hell?

(shut up! we’ll be taking the wheel today.)

Why?

(because there’s nothing to write about, which generally devolves into writing about having nothing to write about. no one wants to read that crap!)

Uhm . . . Okay. Go on then.

( . . .)

Well?

(we’re thinking. quit pressuring us. we don’t want to be a gimmicky hack.)

Like me . . . when I write about not having anything to write about.

(ugh. go away.)

You’re right. I’m sorry.

(we’ve done a pretty good job so far. twenty nine days of posts, but it is not over yet. we might not make it.)

Yeah. So? Didn’t I already go through this?

(quit trying to sidetrack us with logic. we’re just . . . warming up. okay?)

Sorry. Carry on.

(thank you

. . . 

this, uh, writing thing is pretty difficult, innit?)

*nods*

(not just getting the right words in the right order but doing it consistently. hell, even doing it at all. like right now, for instance. there are some mind numbingly banal videos on YouTube that could alleviate our discomfort.)

*nods*

(except that’s not really an option, is it? well . . . technically it is, but we’ve given in to those distractions enough to know what happens later: the disappointment that eats away at us, tearing off hulking great chunks of psychological flesh with an insatiable hunger like a stoner at a taco bell buffet.)

Hey! That was one time. . . And it wasn’t a buffet. I just bought a lot of crunchy tacos.

(exactly! and who had it worse the next day: us or the toilet?

the point is, it’s hart to tell if these “challenges”—nanowrimo, 30 days of journal posts, etc.— do more good than harm. it’s good motivation to have to write because otherwise we’re lazy. but at the same time, push too hard and we burn out, blow a fuse, quit altogether.

the show must go on and all that, but at what price?)

That’s the good and the bad thing about life in general: it’s convoluted and contradictory, it’s hard, stressful work, but at the same time we get to figure it out. It’s existentialist dilemma. There is no meaning except what we put into it. And, better still, because life’s a whirlwind of change, things don’t get dull. Not for long, at least. Before you know it things have been stirred such that up is down, black is white, Luke Skywalker is a jagoff.

Yin and Yang swirl around that circle, ever changing places. It’s is neither good nor bad. It just is.

“We don’t see thing as they are, we see them as we are.” —Anais Nin.

(and right now we’re struggling, so writing is a struggle. until we get going, and then it’s not so bad. )

*nods*

Exactly!

(but that doesn’t mean writing—or life or whatever—isn’t a struggle it is whatever we put into it. isn’t there a Zen koan about water taking whatever form that it is put into?)

I think so. If not, it’s a wonderful metaphor for all this.

(now if we can only find a way to keep that image fresh in our mind, or at least until we can write something and be done with it . . .)

If only.

6 Replies to “Journaling June: Is This It Then?”

    1. Thanks!

      Phew, I’m glad it’s over. I might take a day or two and just stare out the window.

      Ah, who am I kidding? I’ll surely see something out there that’ll make me think of something and before I know it I’ll be scribbling my thoughts. It’ll be nice to let it sit for a day or two, allowing me to come back to it for some of the old revision.

      Liked by 2 people

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