Hi. My name is Aeryk and this is me in a convenient third-person bullet point presentation:
- Aeryk is a delicate fondue of Viking and Cajun stock, with all the subtly, grace, and refinement of a moonshine high colonic.
- Aeryk is a Humbugger of Arts and Letters (a writer).
- Aeryk is a ’73 Honkey Slouchback (46 years old, white, bad posture).
- Aeryk is the progenitor of the endearment The Lovable Rascal (narcissistic with delusions of grandeur).
- Aeryk is an ordained Dudeist Priest and a Baron (has an inferiority complex, internet access, and had $70 to burn).
- Aeryk has a B.A. in English (aspired to work at McDonalds).
- Aeryk has a B.A. in Phliosophy (clinched dream career in fast food).
- Aeryk has a Doktorate of Forbidden Sciences (too lazy for graduate school so he bought his degree online—another $30 to burn).
- Aeryk wiles away the late, late, late hours in orgies of sex and violence with the likes of Sex With the Headless Corpse of the Virgin Astronaut* (enjoys watching b-movies).
- Aeryk’s iTunes library is named “The One That Says Bad Mother Fucker” despite the fact it has The Bangles Greatest Hits (actually true).
Essentially, Aeryk is puppy’s breath, a child’s laughter, and managing to snag that meaty nose goblin in the first go—all rolled into one.
* Super AWE-some You’ve-Got-No-Life nerd cred if you know the reference (WITHOUT yahoogling the answer)!