My Sick Days When I Was Green in the Lungs

“Humans are dumb and they die easy.” —Bender Bending Rodriquez

My trashcan is a bucket of sick. It’s not surprising. I work at a K-12 school. On top of that everything outside is coated in the light green dusting of Spring. There’s only so much a body can take, even for a paragon of perfect health such as myself.

I normally don’t get sick. Simply refuse to, you see.

(one has to be firm about these things.) Continue reading “My Sick Days When I Was Green in the Lungs”

What’s All This Damnable Humbuggery Then?

“Where am I going and why am I in this hand basket?” —Murphy

What the fuck?

I ask that question often. I ask it because I find that the life is supremely confuzling (confusing + puzzling). I’m fairly sure life is that way for everyone, but it is particularly true for me. Why “particularly” for me? Maybe it’s my Asperger’s. Maybe it’s my mediocre intelligence. Maybe the world is just fucking crazy.

(perhaps all three?) Continue reading “What’s All This Damnable Humbuggery Then?”

Rey and Ren: A Star War Fan Theory

Note: Names have been left out to protect the stupid.

(but our name is known, it’s the site’s URL! what are we saying here?)

You shut up.

* * *

There’s nothing controversial about saying the internet is full of bat-shit crazy theories. Duh, right? And all unmarried men are bachelors. A=A. Tell us something we don’t know, Commander Evidenticus.

Then there are the fan theories. And THEN there are Star Wars fan theories. A hotbed of crazy that makes a Taco Bell cheat day before a kegger look brilliant in comparison. Continue reading “Rey and Ren: A Star War Fan Theory”

Talking to Myself

There’s a lady I work with, let’s call her K, who talks to herself so much she basically narrates her life. There’s nothing necessarily wrong with this. Everyone talks to themselves at some point or another. Still, it is a little weird. I am often confused by it, wondering if she’s talking to me or not. There are two ways I can go when I’m unsure what is happening. I can say, “What?” and if she doesn’t answer I know she was not talking to me. On the other hand, if I pretend I didn’t hear and she repeats herself more than once, I know she was talking to me.

Either way it is harmless stuff albeit awkward. Continue reading “Talking to Myself”