Shitty Movie Detail: The Expanse Season 1

Angry Belter protesting.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

The Belters, people born and raised in the asteroid belt, speak a creole language. Even with the subtitles on, I cannot understand what they’re saying. This is a subtle nod that not only am I an Earther, but so is the subtitle provider. And Google translate.

Shitty Movie Detail: The VelociPastor

Yeyo ninjas vs. the VelociPastor
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

Ezekiel 25:16-17 foretold the coming of the VelociPastor (literal translation from the original Hebrew):

“Therefore saith the Lord God; Behold, I will stretch out mine hand upon the yeyo ninja. 

And the velociraptor will strike down upon them with great vengeance and furious anger. And they shall know that I am the Lord when my velociraptors lay vengeance upon them.”

Shitty Movie Detail: Lost in Space Season 2

The Fortuna adrift in space.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

While life tends to be a “luck of the draw,” I don’t feel too bad for the Robinsons. I mean, what did they expect? Their autobiography is titled Lost in Space. Is it any wonder that EVERY time they go somewhere (in space) they lose their way? Get lost once, same on destiny. Get lost twice (or more) shame on you! And Google Maps.

Shitty Movie Detail: The Witcher

Geralt's eyes, close up.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

Geralt says to his estranged mother, “Do you know what they did to my eyes?” Unfortunately, the show never answers that question. The answer is horrifying. (SPOILER) The special effects makeup department takes a disk of colored silicone hydrogel and places it over Henry Cavill’s iris, actually TOUCHING his cornea, to give his eyes the jaundiced look. EW!