Shitty Movie Detail: Lost in Space Season 2

The Fortuna adrift in space.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

While life tends to be a “luck of the draw,” I don’t feel too bad for the Robinsons. I mean, what did they expect? Their autobiography is titled Lost in Space. Is it any wonder that EVERY time they go somewhere (in space) they lose their way? Get lost once, same on destiny. Get lost twice (or more) shame on you! And Google Maps.

Shitty Movie Detail: The Witcher

Geralt's eyes, close up.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

Geralt says to his estranged mother, “Do you know what they did to my eyes?” Unfortunately, the show never answers that question. The answer is horrifying. (SPOILER) The special effects makeup department takes a disk of colored silicone hydrogel and places it over Henry Cavill’s iris, actually TOUCHING his cornea, to give his eyes the jaundiced look. EW!

Shitty Movie Detail: The Rise of Skywalker

Roman numeral 9 in the Star Wars font.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

Despite advances in alternative numbering theory and flat earth sciences, The Rise of Skywalker is the ninth film in the nonology. Therefore it’s the conclusion. Martin Luther King, Jr’s review said it best, “Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.”