Journaling June: Damnable Delusions

Reaching for the popcorn on my nightstand.

The baggie of white cheddar popcorn could save my life, but it’s no use. It’s right there on the table, a few feet away, and I cannot reach it.

(it’s only a slight stretch. we can do it.)

And aggravate my back? I can barely breathe, shallowly, lying perfectly still.

(we have to do something. we’ll starve if we wait here for help.)

And if I move I risk permanent paralysis. I just have to hold on. Somehow.

Continue reading “Journaling June: Damnable Delusions”

Journaling June: I Suck at Cave Time

Close up shot of a small wooden Weeping Buddha statue.

“What is great in man is that he is a bridge and not a goal: what is lovable in man is that he is an OVER-GOING and a DOWN-GOING.” —Friedrich Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra

I love the empowerment that Nietzsche’s writing exudes, particularly the idea of going down. He means it in several ways, but for me it’s the idea of going into oneself, down deep to face the dragons therein, where I find the greatest interest.

For several months now I have actively been trying to get 15 minutes of quiet time everyday. Time without distractions from my phone, tablet, TV, notebooks, other people, or anything. Time to contemplate . . . whatever. My wife calls it cave time. Considering I’m a guy, why I’m doing it, and my philosophical background, cave time is perfect.

I wish, like Nietzsche, I could write something powerful and inspiring, or mearly thought provoking. Sadly, all I can report is that I suck at cave time.

Continue reading “Journaling June: I Suck at Cave Time”

Journaling June: The Devil in the Details

Ceiling Texture

We look for patterns in the chaos. I don’t know if any other animals do also. Even if they do, how would we know. Assuming we could, that’s for those who are far smarter than I to figure out.

I’m fond of finding patterns in the texturing on walls and ceilings. I found one, a cartoon face, in my ceiling while doing my crunches. The feature image of this post is of the texturing I’m talking about. Here’s a closer view, specifically of the part that grabbed my pattern-establishing imagination:

Continue reading “Journaling June: The Devil in the Details”

Journaling June: Damnable Synchronicity

Synchronicity’s definition from The American Heritage Dictionary of the English Language third edition.

The past few months have been a synchronicity smorgasbord. Most recently it was a from Brain Pickings: Herman Hesse on Solitude, the Value of Hardship, and How to Find Your Destiny.

I don’t know how the universe works, and I’m not sure I’m ready to fully endorse the idea of some “greater power” pulling strings to show me, Aeryk Pierson, some speck of nobody on the planet Earth, what it is that I’m supposed to do, know, etc. Yet, at the same time, it is a crazy coincidence that just as I’m struggling with getting in touch with my shadow, wrestling with how to become who I am, battling with my physical and mental issues, that I come across a blog post by Maria Papova in which she writes about Herman Hesse—specifically about his take on solitude and the value of hardship. And, additionally, how he is furthering Nietzsche’s own call for owning one’s pain and suffering in the pursuit of creating yourself.

Continue reading “Journaling June: Damnable Synchronicity”