I Fail Stress Tests

Stress Test

Stress tests slurp shit. In only six pride-obliterating minutes they reduce me to a blubbering lump of hyperventilating meat. I readily admit that I’m not a young buck, but 47 isn’t that old. Like Garth Brooks sang, “I’m much too young to feel this damn old.”

(but garth brooks is not in the sad shape we’re in.)

A bit of background, I suffered a heart attack 15 years ago. Thus my need for these yearly shamings.

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Shitty Movie Detail: Parasite

Ki-jung sitting on the toilet surrounded by a sea of sewage.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

During the heavy rains, the Kim family’s half-basement apartment floods. This flooding causes the sewers to back up, which in turn sends human effluent spraying out of the turlet. This, quite literally, is a shitty movie detail.

Furthermore, as the eponymous title suggests, there was at least one parasite in said sewage.

A Bit of Gaming History Has Passed On

Kazuhisa Hashimoto's "Konami Code"

Like most people, I can’t say I knew who Kazuhisa Hashimoto was, but I did know his contribution to video games: the Konami Code (pictured above). Without his “help” I wouldn’t have made it very far.

Rest in peace, good sir.

Damnable Shower Thoughts: Future Petroleum Deposits

Shower head with water running.

If the petroleum deposits we’re digging up now are from all the plant and animal carcasses deposited millions of years ago, all the cemeteries we’re filling up now are going to be convenient petroleum deposits for when the cockroaches, or whatever, rule the world—assuming they require petroleum products, that is.