Shitty Movie Detail: The Rise of Skywalker

Roman numeral 9 in the Star Wars font.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

Despite advances in alternative numbering theory and flat earth sciences, The Rise of Skywalker is the ninth film in the nonology. Therefore it’s the conclusion. Martin Luther King, Jr’s review said it best, “Free at last, Free at last, Thank God almighty we are free at last.”

Shitty Movie Detail: John Wick 3: Parabellum

John Wick at the Continental Casablance.
FT, Fartiste Theater's frankenthing mascot.
FT, Fartiste Theater’s frankenthing mascot.

When John Wick travels to the Casablanca Continental, all the people in the background are clearly human. This is a subtle nod that Parabellum takes place on contemporary Earth, not a long time ago in the Mos Eisley Continental. Therefore, the titular war Wick is preparing for is a regular one, not Star Wars.

Rey and Ren: A Star War Fan Theory

Note: Names have been left out to protect the stupid.

(but our name is known, it’s the site’s URL! what are we saying here?)

You shut up.

* * *

There’s nothing controversial about saying the internet is full of bat-shit crazy theories. Duh, right? And all unmarried men are bachelors. A=A. Tell us something we don’t know, Commander Evidenticus.

Then there are the fan theories. And THEN there are Star Wars fan theories. A hotbed of crazy that makes a Taco Bell cheat day before a kegger look brilliant in comparison. Continue reading “Rey and Ren: A Star War Fan Theory”